no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
