The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
