He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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