Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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