is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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