doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
