just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
