you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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