whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
