can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
