who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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