so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
