He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
