I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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