Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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