Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
