I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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