How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
