I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
