I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
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I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I AM VODKA MAN
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.