My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
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I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
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I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...