I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
whose parrot is this?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?