Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize