we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
