For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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