I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I know her cup size but not her name....
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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