its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
