you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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