At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
