Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
