Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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