It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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