I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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