okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
