I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
