Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
