Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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