too bad you live with your parents still
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
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Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
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I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
These tits shall not be calmed
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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