I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
