I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize