Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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