went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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