Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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