Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
