For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
