My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
