Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
