you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It's Friday. Sex?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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