Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
