oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
