I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
