Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Randomize
