Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
