She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
