I think i sorta joined a cult last night
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He felt like a one man threesome
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
