What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
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Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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