the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
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Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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