dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
