and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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