My nipple is on Facebook.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
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I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
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High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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