somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
